Family Ties: Navigating cancers together

I've been wanting to write an update for a while but kept waiting until I felt like I had something positive to say - especially after my last post. The reality is that throughout April, many things got worse - the pain in my elbow, the tightness in my chest, the urge to be alone, the feeling that I should be doing more to heal.  I've been seeing 2 different physiotherapists and a registered massage therapist to deal with the radiation fibrosis in my chest that is compressing my ulnar nerve in at least 2 spots and resulting in elbow pain.  The pain is nearly constant and bothers me with even the smallest of tasks, like washing my face in the morning or doing a short neighbourhood bike ride.  It's been a constant, unyielding, reminder of having had cancer. It's also physically and emotionally exhausting. The physio and massage therapy is also painful, as I want them to be as aggressive as possible to deal with the scar tissue before it gets worse.  Many times, I leave...

    I  see a red door     And I want it painted black     No colors anymore     I want them to turn black Black has always been my favourite colour to wear - some call it boring, I call it classic.  And it makes me feel good.  I would never say that my mood has been black...until recently.  Maybe that's being overly dramatic.  Maybe my mood has been more of a grey.  Definitely not the usual colours. I've been having a terrible time sleeping.  It started when I first got hot flashes at night about 2 years ago, but then progesterone at night cured that almost immediately.  Sleep has always been something that's come easy to me and, until now, I didn't ever stop to consider that it wouldn't always.  Since the double diagnosis of cancer in my family, it has been harder to get to sleep and stay asleep, not just because I can no longer take progesterone, but also because my over-active brain se...

Exactly 2 weeks ago, I rang the bell (well, triangle, really) at the Ottawa Hospital's General Campus Cancer Centre to signify the end of my radiation treatment.  When I started radiation, I couldn't wait to be done.  It was a grind. Even though the treatments were quick and on-time, I felt like a burden asking people to drive me and wait around in their cars because the parking lot was almost always full.  I felt very lucky to have had so many volunteer drivers and enjoyed time with 13 different people over the course of the 15 day treatment. I was also lucky that I had minimal side effects while undergoing the treatment and wondered, maybe a little too arrogantly, if I would breeze through without any side effects (more on that later).  I was truly elated and relieved when I rang the bell and walked out, but the feeling didn't last.           Runaway train never going back      Wrong way on a one-way track  ...

 It's a deep freeze in Ottawa but everyday I get up to have my left side nuked, at least that's how I think of my radiation.  I've now finished 4 out of 15 doses and in this post, I'll explain (since I am getting a lot of questions) the process. First off, after these 4 doses, I've had no side effects. I've been told to expect anytime after the mid-way point and continuing to the first couple of weeks after the end of treatment.  The two most likely side effects will be skin burning/peeling (anywhere along my left side, front, back and underarm) and fatigue.  I am doing everything I can to prevent both of those by using creams twice a day on the treated areas and being consistent at the gym to combat fatigue.  Only time will tell if it makes any difference, but I believe it will. So, the actual process of radiation is surprisingly quick.  On the first day, I got a bi-fold card, about the size of a cell phone, that has a scan code for me to check myself into...

When it's not always raining there'll be days like this When there's no one complaining there'll be days like this When everything falls into place like the flick of a switch Well my mama told me there'll be days like this   If I had to pick a theme song for the Christmas holidays of 2024, this would be it, hands down.  It was, despite everything I'd thought since my diagnosis in August, the BEST family Christmas that I can remember.  Shawn and I went out to buy our tree early, having learned the lesson last year that those who hesitate might need to buy an artificial tree!  Our tree has been up since December 6 and it's still up...I'm trying to hold on to all the feelings that this past holiday season brought - joy, love, happiness, acceptance, optimism, peace and gratefulness.   I have come a long way from the early days of my diagnosis when it was hard to imagine experiencing most of those feelings again.  It was so great to have my kids home for a...

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair." I read Dicken's "A Tale of Two Cities" in high school English, grade 10 or 11, I think.  Few things from high school classes stuck with me as much as memorizing certain required quotes from English class.  I don't know why that is but it is.  The quote above describes my life right now - getting a cancer diagnosis is really the worst of times, but learning who will be there for you, finding your own strength and resources, healing through the process in all aspects, well, that has been the best of times as well.  In the past few weeks, I've learned so much (wisdom) about radiation and endocrine therapy, but also (foolishness) the many frustrating delays in treatment and hiccu...